Sunday, February 28, 2021
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AUTHOR NAME

James Schlarmann

720 POSTS
1 COMMENTS
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Vaccinated Bureaucrat Making Six Figure Income Has Thoughts on Your Kids Rushing Back to School

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R-MT) is "sick and tired" of America's schools largely being closed to in-person learning. During a press conference...

Single Term President Loses One More Vote Count and “Wins” Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When it comes to losing vote counts, there is no bigger and more consistent winner than former President Toadstool Dick. In...

McConnell Blames Arsonist for Torched Building, Says He’s Not Guilty

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was out, taking a stroll around his block when found himself face-to-face with a...

Trump Impeachment Attorney: “If My Client Is Full Of Shit, You Must Acquit!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Michael Van der Veen, attorney representing former President Mushroomdong in his second impeachment trial, told Senators in his closing argument today...

Impeachment Lawyers Will Show Senate Republicans the Jar Trump Keeps Their Balls In

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the second impeachment trial of former President Donald J. Trump took place in the U.S. Senate. Mr. Trump, who...

Gina Carano Identifies As Unemployed

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Alt-right Nazi sympathizer, former human punching bag, and alleged actress Gina Carano has confirmed in several social media posts that she...

Trump Replaces Impeachment Legal Team With Lionel Hutz

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All in all, the general takeaway from the opening day of former President Donald J. Trump's second impeachment trial was, for...

For the First Time in Four Years, the President Will Not Honor Victims of the Bowling Green Massacre

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of time between 2017 and 2021, Americans got used to their president making them aware of historical events...

Rand Paul Tells Chris Wallace It’s Unconstitutional to Do Things That Are in the Constitution

In an interview that aired on Fox News this weekend, Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) told host Chris Wallace that the upcoming impeachment trial of...

Colin Kaepernick Would Like a Word With Jim Jordan About “Cancel Culture”

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA -- Former NFL quarterback and activist Colin Kaepernick is seeking a face-to-face meeting with Qongressman Gym Jordan. Mr. Kaepernick, who became...

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