Wednesday, July 28, 2021
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AUTHOR NAME

James Schlarmann

815 POSTS
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Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Greene ‘Devastated’ She Wasn’t Picked for Olympic Equestrian Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) makes no secret of her passion for working out. As a former gym owner, Greene...

Boebert Grateful the ‘Gun Amendment is Second,’ Because If It Were Higher She Couldn’t Find It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) told a group of gun manufacturer lobbyists this week that she "loves guns" and that while...

New Research Suggests Marjorie Taylor Greene is a ‘Sentient Klan Rally’

Dr. Valerie Gilgamesh, Chief Researcher at The National Institute of Looking Into Stuff, held a press conference today and announced that she and her...

Fauci Says He’s Never Heard of a Virology Lab in Any Crossfit Gym

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresshorse Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) wants Americans to ignore the advice of Dr. Anthony Fauci and instead listen to her....

Mike Lindell: A Man Named Ben Gozzi Told Him Trump Would Be Reinstated August 13th

On August 13th, 2021, former President Donald Trump, who has never won the popular vote, had the lowest approval rating in history, and is...

A Complete List of Every Obama Company Under Criminal Indictment

Yesterday, Americans awoke to the news that one of their former presidents was back in legal trouble. One-term, twice-permanently impeached President Donald Trump's company, the...

McConnell ‘Happy’ the Supreme Court ‘Upheld the Right to Be Skeptical of Brown Voters’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-KY) heaped praise today on the Supreme Court's 6-3 decision to uphold Arizona's strict voting laws. This...

New York Board of Elections Confirms Joe Biden is Still Donald Trump’s President

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The New York Board of Elections, despite having its own issues in tabulating votes in its Democratic mayoral primary,...

FBI: Trump’s COVID-19 Body Count Higher Than Clintons’ Kill List

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A new report from the Federal Bureau of Investigations concludes that the total number of Americans killed, or had their murders...

COVID-19’s Delta Variant Will Officially Sponsor All Future Trump Rallies

Donald Trump's SuperPAC has reached a deal that will, according to their latest press release, "keep operating and overhead costs associated with Trump rallies...

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