James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

MAGA Boy: “Why Do Migrant Kids Need to Bathe and Brush Their Teeth If I Don’t?”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster, YouTuber, and country music singer-songwriter Jethro Bohiggins ...

After 14 Hours in the UK Without Fox News, President Convinced Donald Trump Is Danger to America

LONDONTOWNSHIPSHIRE, ENGLANDVILLE KINGDOM — Upon arriving in the United Kingdom for a three day ...

Tennessee Pro-Life Republicans Want to Outlaw All Sex

THEOCRACY MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE — In the state of Tennessee, pro-life forces are growing tired ...

Missouri Dems Propose Classifying Erections That Precede Abortions as Accessories to Murder

TRAPPEDIN, MISSOURI — Democrats in the Missouri State legislature have proposed a new law that ...

Shop-Vac Building New Manufacturing Facilities in Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Ohio

WILLIAMSPORT, PENNSYLVANIA — Citing a “brand new, previously unforeseen need in the market,” Shop-Vac ...

Local Republican Can’t Wait to Share His Awful Views of Rape, Incest With You

LAKE CHAUVIN, FLORIDA — Lance Westmund is a 52-year-old self-described Born-Again Christian, Republican, gun owner, ...