James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

MAGA Boy Says His Wedding Made It The Best Family Reunion Yet

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins told his audience ...

22 Year Old Trophy Wife Into Gray Pubes After All

DELAWARE, TEXAS — Kate Singleton just married the man of her dreams, she tells ...

Navy Reveals Washington Won Its First “Top Flintlock” Trophy

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials with the U.S. Navy have confirmed today that George Washington ...

Celebrity Chef E. Schrödinger’s New Restaurant Is Now Open..Or Is It?

RIO DE LOS GATOS, CALIFORNIA — World renowned Austrian Chef E. Schrödinger’s new restaurant ...

Trump Officially Registers His Presidential Rape Type

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Many Americans might presume that President Donald Trump is the first, ...

Researchers Name New Aggressive Form of Rectal Cancer After William Barr

LAKE CRISE CONSTITUTIONNELLE, MICHIGAN — A new, fast moving and particularly aggressive form of ...