James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Classic TV Show Being Rebooted, Will Focus on Trump Administration

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — During the decade known as the 1980’s, there were many hit ...

NASA Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Scientists at NASA have yet to locate the edge of Donald ...

News of Planned Parenthood Refusing Federal Funding Sparks Impromptu Spank-Off Between Pence, Santorum

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice-President Mike Pence and failed presidential candidate, former Senator Rick Santorum ...

President Runs Out of Dipping Sauce and Declares ‘National McNugget McMergency’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at ...