James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Rubio Says OJ Was Just Probably Just Kidding Around With His Knife

WASHINGTON, D.C. — While out jogging around town, Senator Marco Rubio was spotted and ...

John Adams Once Called The King of England for Dirt on Thomas Jefferson

While the nation’s political and governmental institutions grapple with an authentic constitutional crisis, debating ...

Self-Loathing, Blind, and Deaf Woman Explains Why She’s Still Voting for Donald Trump

GREENBELT, MINNESOTA — Helen Whipplemyer is still voting for Donald J. Trump next November, ...

Trump Considering Sarah Palin as National Insecurity Adviser

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Citing what he called “extremely fart-tudinous circumstantials,” President Donald Trump told ...

Chrissy Teigen and The DNC Just Unveiled a New 2020 Slogan

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Democratic National Committee has unveiled a new slogan for the ...

Trump Releases New Photos From His Wedding to First Lady Melania

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The President of the United States released new photos of his ...