James Schlarmann 
Cruz Warns Democrats Might Try to Steal Future Elections With More Votes than Republicans
RIO PINCHE CULERO, TEXAS — Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump’s Taint) warned Americans during a ...
Trump Grants Permission to John Barron to Concede to Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, almost three full weeks after losing his re-election bid, President ...
The Klan Told McEnany She’s ‘Too Full of Shit’ to Work For Them
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Someday very soon, White Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany is going to ...
Sidney Powell Easily Connects Dots Between Hugo Chavez, Biden, and the Loch Ness Monster
Nobody thought she could do it. They all said she was “crazy.” Some said ...
Zuckerberg Says He Can’t Ban Steve Bannon Until He Orders the Killing of At Least 15% of Facebook’s Users
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Not long ago, Twitter permanently banned former Trump administration ...
Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch
WASHINGTON, D.C. — None of the legal proceedings initiated by the Trump campaign have ...
Eric Trump: “You Can Tell The Election Was Rigged Because Daddy Didn’t Win!”
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Eric Trump, the third-most intelligent male crotch fruit of ...
Citing Pending Litigation, the Black Knight Refuses to Concede
THE FORESTS OF ENGLAND — Despite the fact that he is now without arms ...
McConnell: “Maybe I’m a Wrinkly Fuckstick Traitor. But That Doesn’t Mean Trump Shouldn’t Contest Every State He Lost.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a moment of unforeseen and rare candor, Senate Majority Leader ...
Trump Tries to Kick WA, OR, CA, NV, AZ, CO, NM, GA, VA, PA, MN, WI, IL, MI, ME, VT, NH, NY, MA, CT, RI, NJ, MD, DE and D.C. Out of U.S.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has issued an emergency McProclamation from the Oval ...
