Monday, January 17, 2022
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AUTHOR NAME

James Schlarmann

889 POSTS
1 COMMENTS
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Disgruntled OAN Viewers Can Still Get The Same Information at Their Next Klan Rally

Last week, AT&T stunned millions of unwashed, cousin-lusting Americans when it announced that it would no longer carry One America News -- known to...

Mike Lindell Claims to Have Evidence Millions of Americans ‘Wanted Trump to Lose’

Mike Lindell, the embattled CEO of MyPillow and MyCrackpipe, announced on Steve Bannon's podcast yesterday that he has "100% irrefutable proof" of something he...

Decades Ago, Doctors Already Figured Out How to Put a Human Heart in a Pig

This week, a modern medical marvel took place. At the University of Maryland, doctors successfully transplanted a heart from a genetically modified pig into a...

Graham Blasts Biden For “Politicizing” Politically-Motivated Terrorist Attack

The morning of the anniversary of the most violent attack on the U.S. Capitol since the country's inception, President Joe Biden gave a fiery...

Hannity Was Served His January 6th Subpoena While He Was Still Inside Trump’s Butthole

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Not long after the Select Congressional Committee investigating the events of January 6th, 2021 announced that it was seeking cooperation from...

Don’t Worry! You Can Still Follow MTG on Twitter for Horses.

These days, it can be really difficult to find a consistent and reliable source of verbal diarrhea, COVID disinformation, and unrelenting right-wing religious extremist...

Four Foot Tall Man Famous for Convincing People to Eat Bugs Confirms Deep State is “100% Real”

FUCKSBERG, TEXAS -- A short man, barely four feet tall, told his massive podcast audience this week that the so-called Deep State, referred to...

Trump Jr. Texted Trump on January 6th Asking If His Dad Loves Him But Never Got a Response

Despite still resisting his congressional subpoena, former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows did hand over reams of documents, emails, and text messages...

Historians Unearth Benedict Arnold’s PowerPoint Presentation

As it turns out, America's most infamous traitors perhaps might have one rather surprising thing in common -- their preferred presentation software. "Obviously we know...

Listerine Contradicts Ron Johnson, Says It’s Intended for Recovering Alcoholics Sneaking Booze

Mouthwash maker Listerine is not useful in fighting COVID-19, the company said in a statement pushing back against sitting U.S. Senator Ron Johnson (Q-WI)....

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