Wednesday, July 28, 2021
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AUTHOR NAME

James Schlarmann

815 POSTS
1 COMMENTS
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
https://www.facebook.com/Jamboschlarmbo
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Sports

Unathletic Traitor Has Some Thoughts to Share on Simone Biles

James Schlarmann -
MT. DICKHOLE, WEST VIRGINIA -- 48-year-old Doug Palumbo is not what anyone would call athletically gifted, but he doesn't hide from that fact. Friends,...
Politics

GOP Leadership: Pelosi ‘Bears Responsibility’ for Jan 6th For Not Declaring Trump King

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A handful of House Republicans in leadership positions held a press conference this morning, minutes before the January 6th special select...
Entertainment

Tucker Carlson Wants to Get One More COVID-19 Vaccine Before He Endorses Them

James Schlarmann -
Fox News host and sentient toilet film Tucker Carlson told his audience last night that he's still "not quite ready" to encourage them to...
Science/Tech

Poll: 70% Hope Trump Is Next Billionaire in Space As Long As It’s a One-Way Trip

James Schlarmann -
In the span of a week, two of Earth's billionaire's have boarded rocket ships and blasted off, out of the planet's atmosphere, and reached...
Education

Texas Board of Education Eliminates Need to Teach Kids The South Lost

James Schlarmann -
AUSTIN, TEXAS -- The Texas Board of Education, in a narrow, party line vote, has eliminated teaching history students who won the Civil War...
Politics

McCarthy Selects Q-Anon Shaman and MAGA Bomber for January 6th Committee

James Schlarmann -
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After several weeks of anticipation, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) has chosen the people who will represent the Republican caucus...
Medicine

Dr. Tucker Carlson Still Not Ready to Endorse COVID-19 Vaccine

James Schlarmann -
COVID-19 vaccines have been available for more than six months, and while an initial surge of Americans taking one of the three currently approved...
Politics

Gaetz, Greene Move America First Rally to ‘Suitable’ Stables in Riverside

James Schlarmann -
Usually, whenever Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) speaks about California or Californians, she doesn't have a nice thing to say. Often, she pejoratively refers...
Politics

Trump Orders McCarthy to Put the Former First Lady on January 6th Commission

James Schlarmann -
BAD MINCER, NEW JERSEY -- This morning, former, one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump met with House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA)...
Politics

Pro-Life Tennessee Republicans Fighting to Help More Kids Die of Preventable Diseases

James Schlarmann -
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE -- This week, news outlets reported that Tennessee Republicans did something that some might find rather odd during a global pandemic --...
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