Monday, January 25, 2021
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AUTHOR NAME

James Schlarmann

491 POSTS
1 COMMENTS
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While it's not clear at this time exactly why Senator Ted Cruz went for a swim in the Potomac river last...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Articles of Impeachment Against Bernie Sanders Mitten Memes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Not long before Joe Biden became the 46th President of the United States, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) was photographed sitting in...

Radical Leftist Nails Kickflip, Supports Medicare for All

LOS AMIGOS ISQUERDOS, CALIFORNIA -- 22-year old Matt Robin is a radical leftist. At least that's what fans of his skateboarding career think. That's...

McConnell Implores Schumer Not to Wield Power Unapologetically Like He Does

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the last decade or so, Mitch McConnell ran the Senate. He did so with such a lust and zeal for...

Palin Donates Half Her Brain to Boebert and Doubles Her Cognitive Capacity

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a stunning and unforeseen development, former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has donated half her brain to freshman Congresswoman Lauren...

Report: Sleepy Joe Woke Up This Morning and Sniffed The White House Air

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President "Sleepy" Joe Biden shocked millions of cultists still reeling from the stinging rebuke Biden's racist, incompetent, corrupt predecessor...

Biden Declares He Doesn’t ‘Give a Shit’ About How Big His Inaugural Crowd Size Was

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For many, many years how large a crowd was that gathered to watch a president be sworn-in was a matter of...

The President of the United States is No Longer Banned from Twitter

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Twitter announced just after 12:00pm Eastern Time that the President of the United States is no longer permabanned from...

Trump Will Spend Last Day as President Farting in Every Room in The White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump has just barely over 24 hours left on the clock, and then he will no longer be President of...

Boebert and Taylor Greene to Star in OAN’s “Real Housewives of QAnon”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Far-right media outlet OAN has announced that it will begin airing its own alternative reality TV shows, produced for their target...

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