James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Trump Grants Permission to John Barron to Concede to Joe Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, almost three full weeks after losing his re-election bid, President ...

The Klan Told McEnany She’s ‘Too Full of Shit’ to Work For Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Someday very soon, White Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany is going to ...

Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. — None of the legal proceedings initiated by the Trump campaign have ...

Citing Pending Litigation, the Black Knight Refuses to Concede

THE FORESTS OF ENGLAND — Despite the fact that he is now without arms ...