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Monthly Archives: May, 2021

GA Republicans Want to Audit the Elections of 1860 and 2008 Next

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Republicans in the state of Georgia have been conducting audits of the 2020 election, presumably to find evidence to bolster claims...

Fauci: It’s ‘Entirely Possible’ Ted Cruz Leaked From a Lab or Trump’s Rectum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Dr. Anthony Fauci finally laid to rest some questions he's been repeatedly hounded by reporters and Republican members of Congress to...

GA Accuses Greene of Taking Tax Deductions on Two Separate Home Meth Labs

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The State of Georgia is accusing one of its own congressional representatives of illegally taking a tax deduction on two separate...

Greene Vows to Use Secret Jewish Space Laser to Destroy Pelosi’s ‘Anti-Semitic Holocaust Masks’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Freshman Qongresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia threatened to "unleash the full destructive powers" of a secret Jewish space...

Pelosi Says Jan. 6th Commission Can Investigate Benghazi So Republicans Support It

"...and if that isn't enough for them, they can throw in Bill Clinton's Oval Office beejer for all I care." - Speaker Nancy Pelosi WASHINGTON,...

McConnell Says He’d Oppose January 6th Commission Even If He Weren’t Covered in Trump’s Ball Juice

"When have you ever known Mitch McConnell to be a petty, partisan hack?" WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Even if he were not completely and utterly drenched,...

Matt Gaetz Has a Perfectly Reasonable Explanation for Using Venmo to Buy a Fleet of Windowless Vans

LAKE EPSTEIN, FLORIDA -- According to sources, investigators have uncovered a new wrinkle in Qongressman Matt Gaetz' sex-for-money scandal. Reportedly, in 2018, Gaetz and...

Supreme Court Agrees to Decide if Precum Has Same Rights as Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the country awoke to news that the Supreme Court of the United States had agreed to hear a case...

Stefanik Faces Surprise Challenge from Trump’s Dong for Conference Chair

"We'd only be affirming what everybody already knows is true." - House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When they shoved Rep. Liz...

McCarthy: “With Liz Cheney and the Truth Out of the Way, We Can Finally Unite as a Party”

"Our fallen king showed us for nearly half a decade how strong our party can be if we simply ignore reality and create a...

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