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Monthly Archives: February, 2021

5-Year-Old Anti-Vaxxer Pens Heart Warming Memoir

SPRINGFIELD, WASHINGTON -- Paige Johnson is 5 years old, and doctors believe she has just a few precious weeks, perhaps months, left to live....

Potato Head Tells Fox News They’ve Always Been Gender Fluid

In an interview on Fox News this morning, Potato Head confirmed for the anchors that they've always been gender fluid. "It was the marketing people...

Adjusted for Inflation, Sen. John Thune is a Privileged A-Hole In Any Era

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Recently, Sen. John Thune (Q-SD) railed against raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour, citing the fact that he pulled...

Tucker Carlson Didn’t See any Signs of White Supremacy at Cross Burning

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- On last night's episode of his Fox News television program, Tucker Carlson told his audience that he "just couldn't...

Josh Hawley Praises Capitol Police For Defending Him During Insurrection He Inspired

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, the U.S. Senate held its first hearings on the violent insurrection on the capitol during the January 6th, 2021 terrorist...

Biden Orders Gas Cost $7 Trillion a Gallon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has served America as an elected public official in one form or another for most of his adult...

Biden Says It’s Time To Take Eric’s Finger Paintings Off the White House Fridge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Joe Biden took office last month, he signed a flurry of executive orders that reversed several such orders signed by...

Scientist Says Boebert Was Created In a Lab With Sarah Palin’s Brain and Wayne LaPierre’s Dick Sweat

Recent GED recipient, former diarrhea inducing BBQ chef, and newly minted, freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert loves guns. She ran her campaign on a big...

Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions

THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS  -- In the failed capitalist state of Texas, millions of people are still without power and heat, as officials...

Planned Parenthood Will Start Giving Away Free Guns With Abortions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In response to what can only described as an onslaught of new, strict anti-abortion regulations in a growing number of red...

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