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Monthly Archives: January, 2021

Biden Cancels White House Subscription to Ivanka’s OnlyFans

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In about a week, First Lady Ivanka Trump is going to need to find herself a new job, because she won't...

Michele Bachmann Sees Her Own ‘Undeniable Genius’ in Lauren Boebert

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During her time in the U.S House of Representatives, Republican Michele Bachmann made quite the reputation for herself. Bachmann's penchant for...

Trump Jr. to Hannity: “You Ever Notice the Democrats Won’t Impeach The President of China?”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- He might keep making allegations about last November's election being "stolen" from his father, but Donald Trump Jr is...

McEnany and Miller Cleaning Out McNugget Dipping Sauces From Resolute Desk Drawers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are just seven days left on President Donald Trump's tenure, and according to several sources with knowledge of the situation,...

Op-Ed: Won’t Somebody Do Something About Trumpists Losing Their Social Media Followers?!

The following editorial was written by Bill Dickerdolldildo. Mr. Dickerdolldildo is the social media manager for The Washington Cornholer, a right-leaning newspaper. He is...

For Security Purposes, Biden May Be Given Oath of Office in a High School Science Class

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After last week's deadly domestic terror attack on the U.S. Capitol, authorities in charge of next week's inauguration of Joe Biden...

North Korea Gives Ashli Babbit Posthumous Medal

The Democratic Republic of North Korea has issued one of the highest honors it can bestoy on a foreign citizen this week, though it...

Divorcing Pence and Trump Argue Over Who Gets Custody of Imprisoned Children at Border

America's most bitterly public divorce just got, somehow, even more testy. That's because outgoing lame duck one-term President Donald Trump and his Vice President...

Trump Has Been Calling Random Supporters to Yell Lies At Them 280 Characters at a Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States was permanently kicked off all the major social media platforms last week, and according to...

Ben Carson Confident He’s Going to Win Donald Trump’s Chocolate Factory

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If he hangs on for just another few days, Department of Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson will win Donald...

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