Ted Nugent: “Musicians Should Shut Their Mouths About Politics Unless They’re Telling That Cunt Hillary To Go Fuck Herself With Their Machine Gun”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Appearing on Fox & Friends this morning, conservative rocker Ted Nugent weighed-in on a discussion about this year’s Grammy award show having too much political content from the show’s performers and award recipients.

For the last couple of days, conservative pundits, and even U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley, have been commenting about how disappointed and unnerved they were at the anti-Trump messaging in acceptance speeches and performances at this year’s awards show honoring the best in the recording industry. Nugent said he is “totally onboard with letting those libtarded libtards have it with both barrels, literally.”

Nugent, who came to prominence in the 1970’s as a hard guitarist and singer with family friendly classic songs about sex with many different women, has made a name for himself for the last couple of decades as an outspoken conservative. Mr. Nugent is a mainstay on Fox News programming, and is a devoted Second Amendment enthusiast. During the Obama administration, he made headlines more than once for how he spoke about both President Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. He once infamously invited Ms. Clinton to “suck” on his machine.

Undoubtedly, Nugent has used rhetoric in the past that was both incendiary and extremely hostile toward liberals. Himself a famous a musician, some have criticized conservatives who have Mr. Nugent on their shows, implying he is no more or less qualified to speak than liberal artists who are repeatedly assailed for injecting politics into their art. Nugent told the Fox hosts this morning that despite his past dalliances in political commentary, it’s “different when [he does] it,” and that it’s time for musicians to “shut their mouths.”

“Here’s the bottom line,” Nugent said, “musicians should shut their mouths about politics unless they’re telling that cunt Hillary to go fuck herself with their machine gun, period.”

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A vacant-eyed Brian Kilmeade nodded slowly and repeated, “yes, yes, yes” over and over as Nugent spoke. An equally empty-gazed Steve Doocy smiled, farted a couple times, and said he agrees completely with Nugent and that the rocker was making the best and most logical points ever broadcast on Fox’s airwaves. Blonde Big Titted Long Legged Automaton Female Anchor Unit #4523 said she was also in complete agreement with Nugent.

“Here’s the thing, I’m all for the First Amendment, as long as people are using it the way I, and I think we, really, want them to,” Nugent said to more blank-eyed nods and non-verbal grunts of agreement. “So if these libtarded cucks agree to only say the things we want, then we should let them have their freedom. But if they don’t, then frankly I don’t see how we get around trying them for sedition and hanging them, literally hanging them, in the streets.”

Kilmeade perked up.

“Ooh, like a lynching? Is that what you have in mind, Ted? A lynching? Gosh that’s pretty brilliant, Noodge,” Kilmeade said, gushing all over Nugent.

Nugent agreed he was a genius that only comes up with brilliant ideas. Everyone laughed and laughed until Doocy farted again, which is how the hosts have always thrown their show to commercial. President Trump later tweeted that he wants the FBI to investigate whether liberal musicians can be stripped of their First Amendment rights, saying he was “very impressed” with the appearance of “future Secretary of Guns and Ammo Nugent.”

Satire like this can be found on Alternative Facts and The Political Garbage Chute.

More Satire:

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