Sunday, February 28, 2021
SPRINGFIELD, WASHINGTON -- Paige Johnson is 5 years old, and doctors believe she has just a few precious weeks, perhaps months, left to live. Johnson and her parents are...

Potato Head Tells Fox News They’ve Always Been Gender Fluid

In an interview on Fox News this morning, Potato Head confirmed for the anchors that they've always been gender fluid. "It was the marketing people...

Adjusted for Inflation, Sen. John Thune is a Privileged A-Hole In Any Era

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Recently, Sen. John Thune (Q-SD) railed against raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour, citing the fact that he pulled...

Tucker Carlson Didn’t See any Signs of White Supremacy at Cross Burning

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- On last night's episode of his Fox News television program, Tucker Carlson told his audience that he "just couldn't...

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Single Term President Loses One More Vote Count and “Wins” Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When it comes to losing vote counts, there is no bigger and more consistent winner than former President Toadstool Dick. In...

McConnell Blames Arsonist for Torched Building, Says He’s Not Guilty

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was out, taking a stroll around his block when found himself face-to-face with a...

Trump Impeachment Attorney: “If My Client Is Full Of Shit, You Must Acquit!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Michael Van der Veen, attorney representing former President Mushroomdong in his second impeachment trial, told Senators in his closing argument today...

Impeachment Lawyers Will Show Senate Republicans the Jar Trump Keeps Their Balls In

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the second impeachment trial of former President Donald J. Trump took place in the U.S. Senate. Mr. Trump, who...

Trump Replaces Impeachment Legal Team With Lionel Hutz

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All in all, the general takeaway from the opening day of former President Donald J. Trump's second impeachment trial was, for...


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