Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge
FORT ACAB, TENNESSEE — A man convicted of first degree murder was unexpectedly released ...
Smokey Bear’s New Slogan: “Only YOU Give a Shit About Your Baby’s Gender”
In 1944, the United States Forestry Department unveiled their new mascot — Smokey The ...
Kenosha PD Says They Couldn’t ‘Do Anything’ With Rittenhouse Until He Turned His Back and/or Changed His Skin Tone
KENOSHA, WISCONSIN — At this time, there are many questions still surrounding the case ...
Men’s Rights Activist Demands Wife Bake Cake to Celebrate Anniversary of Male Suffrage
DICKHEAD, NEW JERSEY — Matty Palahmbo is a men’s rights activist. In his mind, ...
Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”
DALLASS, TEXASS — This week, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones — whose body and ...
CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control published a highly-anticipated study on the ...
COVID-19 Forces Jesus to Delay Second Coming
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — Concerns about the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak, particularly in the ...
Man and Weed Dealer Have Agreement Not to Discuss Politics
LOS BURRITOS MOJADOS, CALIFORNIA — Every couple of weeks, 40 year old computer programmer ...
CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent warning to ...
Disney Assures Visitors They Can Still Hurl Racist Insults at Employees While Riding Updated Splash Mountain
ANALSLIME, CALIFORNIA — This week, Disney became the latest corporation to reconcile its problematic ...